New Year, New Me?

This is my least favorite time of the year.

This week follows my busiest and
most joyful time of year - a time that is filled with holidays, birthday celebrations, more holidays and lots of events and parties with a common theme: food. Delicious, homemade, decadent food that is guaranteed to add inches to my waistline and pounds to the scale.  It is a time filled with friends, family and laughter - my loved ones gather around the table, enjoying meals together.

This January seems more depressing to me than usual. Just 15 months ago, I hit the 50 pound mark in my weigh loss journey. Three days later, I had a third surgery on Frankenankle, the ankle I broke in three places back in 2005. A month after my surgery, I came down with pneumonia. By the end of 2013, I had lost my personal trainer, my steady work-out buddy, my desire to workout and I found myself constantly winded, feeling out-of-shape and tired. I was tired pretty much all in time. In retrospect (hindsight being 20/20 and all...), I can tell you that my exhaustion was from the pneumonia and my recovery was pretty much normal. At the time, I just felt defeated.

I'm kind of a gym rat. I love being in the gym. I love lifting. When I had my ankle surgery, I only took one day off from lifting. I was right back in there, working my shoulders, by Friday. And I was proud of myself. Throughout my entire non-weight-bearing recovery, I didn't gain a pound. I maintained that 50-pound weight loss. So when I suddenly found myself too tired to make it in every morning, the wheels started to come off. By spring, I was ready to chuck it all.

The past six months have been a non-stop roller coaster of activities, work and kids...all of which require a certain amount of balance. I'll admit: I am completely guilty of using my life as an excuse. I can't get to the gym because I was up all night with the kids. Oh -I am the cheerleader shuttle today, I can't make it to the gym. I have let my bullshit excuses take over...and that brings me to today.

It is the first snow day of 2015...just 6 days into the new year, and I already haven't been to the gym since LAST YEAR! WTF, Kris? I stepped on the scale on January 1st and learned that I have officially gained back 33 of the 50 pounds I once lost.

So - here is what it all boils down to: I can continue to lament my lack of progress...or I can break out of my slump and get back into doing what I love. Lifting myself into a better version of me. (Puns intended...) My new year starts today - (I run on Greek time anyway...I'm always fashionably late).

I started this blog as a way to encourage myself and chronicle my journey...because that is what this is. I don't want to lose weight. I want to be fit. Not a new me - but a better, stronger, fitter me that isn't hesitant to do a push up or a plank. A me that is confident in what my body can accomplish.