The Key is in the Kitchen

Yup...we have all heard that phrase before...the key to fitness isn't in a gym. It is in your kitchen. 95% of weigh loss/fitness successes is the direct result of what you put in your body. You are what you eat, right?

For most of this year, I have been really making an effort to eat cleaner on a regular basis. No fast food for me - staying away from all of the processed goodies. That kind of thing. Despite making vast improvements, I was still struggling with my "will power" and my choices were not always the best. Regardless of my gym performance - which has been pretty solid - I wasn't losing and I was often gaining. I can feel myself getting stronger - but I still want my ass to be smaller!

Then, something happened. I was in the gym, mid-workout, when one of my favorite gym rats started chatting with the PIC about carb cycling and how he has had so much success with it over the past few months. Sean, the gym rat, is kind of built like a brick shit house, so I didn't really pay attention when he first started talking. Then he did it: he showed us pictures.

The brick shit house was right. There was a noticeable difference over just a period of three weeks. Three weeks! A noticeable difference on a guy who didn't look like he had any body fat to lose before he started. I had to ask for more information.

What is Carb Cycling? Simply put, it is managing your carb intake to maximize the way your body burns fat. Sean was following a simple 2-2-3 plan: two high carb days, 2 low carb days, 3 no carb days in a 7 days period. I did some research (see my links below...these are just a few of the places I went to read up on this lifestyle).

I am one of those people who don't do well with absolutes. I never quit smoking - I just stopped for a while. The thought of giving up cigarettes, which I used to LOVE, was more than I could handle. When you tell me that I need to deprive myself, it makes me want to stop whatever it is I am doing. I don't want to never eat pizza again. I love pizza. I LOVE macaroni and I ADORE desserts. The thought of walking away from these delicious foods makes me shudder.

Carb Cycling isn't extreme deprivation. It is control through planning, so I ultimately decided to give it a try. DISCLAIMER: I don't consider myself to be a Carb Cycling expert. Truthfully, I am probably not very good at it. One of the basics is to eat 5 times every day. I definitely don't do that every day! (But I am working on it!)

Last Monday was my first day. No carbs. The goal was no carbs for two straight days, to be rewarded with a high carb day on Wednesday. I made myself no promises - just did the best I could. I started my Monday on the scale with my "initial" weigh-in. I took a picture of the scale and every time I thought of quitting, I looked at that number. I know it isn't going to go down by itself.

Monday went OK. I made sure my food choices were yummy (eggs with spinach ended up being both lunch and dinner...but I enjoyed it, so who cares?). My carbs were limited to my morning coffee (girl needs some caffeine). Tuesday started OK, but by the afternoon, I was crashing. PIC threw me two strawberries to try and take the edge off...and it did!

So I woke up on Wednesday and hit the scale. DOWN 4.6 pounds! Shut up!

And then I ate my face off all day.

Thursday I limited my carbs to some alcoholic beverages after dance. Friday I did absolutely none. Saturday, the next high carb day, I hit the scale again. Guess what? DOWN another 2.4 pounds! Really? 7 pounds in a week? I didn't feel hungry. I didn't feel deprived. I was social. I drank. I ate. I had fun. I didn't feel like I was giving up anything! I ate my face off again yesterday - and you know what happened? I felt sick. All. Damn. Day. So, to balance the crappy feeling of yesterday, I haven't had any carbs today. And I feel kind of awesome.

I really didn't expect this to work - and there is a part of me that is convinced it might not work tomorrow. But I am going to continue to keep this up until I stop seeing results...and then I will reevaluate. For the meanwhile, though, the brick shit house gym rat got me to do something that has been eluding me for a year - I shed 7 pounds without being miserable.


http://www.scrawnytobrawny.com/fat-burning-machine
http://chrispowell.com/carb-cycling-101/
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/wescott4.htm

The Journey

I joined a gym for the first time in 2007 because my mother made me do it. 

She realized I had a severe case of the New Mom Blues and I needed to snap out of it. I started working at that same gym right after I had my second child...primarily because as a work at home/stay at home mom, I was lonely and needed other grownups. 

I didn't learn to love the gym until my third child was 6 months old. I was deep in the overwhelming throes of postpartum depression and PTSD...which made for an amazing biochemical cocktail and resulted in me never wanting to leave the house. I was eating a box of devil dogs, in bed, every night while I nursed my daughter and watched reruns of Bones on TNT. I was surviving not because I wanted to but because I had three small children, all under 5, who needed me desperately. And that is when the gym saved my life. 

I had not tried to do any kind of a work out in more than a year when I met Dave Fiore. He dared me to try something new (as though he knew my stubborn personality couldn't walk away from a dare). I told him I couldn't. I doubted my physical capabilities. I doubted my willpower. I doubted my strength. He coerced me into trying anyway. I started on a mild anti-depressant. I started walking on the treadmill. I started saying "I'll try" instead of "I can't." One step at a time...I did it. 

I stopped eating devil dogs and ring dings. I stopped crying and I gave up feeling sorry for myself. I lost 10 pounds. Then 20. Then 30. I grew stronger. I could carry two kids up the steps. I could chase them. I hit 35. Then 40. I started lifting. I stopped taking the anti-depressant and lifted instead. Daily. It worked. It cleared my fog. The gym became my therapist and Dave became my best friend. I would be lost without either. 

In the past 10 days, I did things that I never imagined. I started carb cycling and went without carbs for two straight days. (And limited today). I benched 135. I gave advice to some meatheads at the gym and was taken seriously! (‪#‎equalrightseverywhere‬)

I am stronger now than ever before. Mentally, physically and emotionally. My body is tired and my muscles are sore but I can't wait to do it all again tomorrow. I read this article tonight (below) and it made think about my journey. I am learning to embrace my own story - and I am going to try and capture some of the stories from other influential people in my world too...because we can all learn from each other. 

http://aaronbleyaert.tumblr.com/post/109959086957

Weekend Warriors

Back when I was 22, Weekend Warrior took on a slightly different meaning than it does now. Then, I was a WW of the fun variety. From the time I left work on Friday until I went to bed on Sunday, I had one focus: have as much fun as possible.That meant happy hours and pub crawls. Dinner with friends, breakfast at diners at lunch time. Some Sundays, it meant not getting out of bed at all.

Now, I am a different kind of warrior. I fight the battle of the bulge from Friday night until Monday morning and I shoot myself in the foot many weekends. I am still a social creature that lives for the thrill of the weekend. I am a Karaoke Queen who craves the Friday night microphone at the local hole-in-the-wall pub, where the drinks and bar grub are cheap. I love having people over to watch football and we all love pizza and wings. Do you see my trend?

FUN = Social Activity(food+drink+friends)

FITNESS = Dedication(eating clean+working out+drinking water+sleeping well)

See my problem?

I still hit the gym on weekends. (I really love the gym...) But my weekend workouts tend to be more social in nature too. I see a bunch of people I don't see during the week...we chat in between sets... and before I know it, I have killed two hours without touching a piece of cardio equipment.

How do you balance SOCIAL with SMART?

I like Vodka. Like, really LIKE Vodka. I like my whipped vodka mixed in my diet Coke by Anastasia on Friday nights at Fullerton Pub. I enjoy coming up with new alcohol concoctions to try at parties. And I LOVE parties. Really LOVE parties.

So what is this weekend warrior to do? This weekend, I think I am going to try going out and being social WITHOUT a drink in my hand. Gotta start somewhere!

Raise your glass!

Working Through the Workout

There are days when I am very envious of my friends with 9-5 jobs. This week has been three of those days in a row.

I really like my job - love my boss and my team...but I have this problem. For most of my career, I have worked for small companies. I have learned that working for a small company means my #1 most important task is "all other duties as assigned." My official title is "Director of Operations: Baltimore Office." My primary job is to make sure the call center, which I launched a year ago, is running smoothly, 18 hours a day. My "office" hours are "supposed" to start at 10...but the call center doesn't close until 4am...so I rarely actually get "off."

I've worked everywhere. Doctor's offices. My brother's wedding. My best friend's wedding. Bed. Hospitals. Parking lot at church (would have been in church - but I leave my phone in the car). During my kids' assorted sporting events. During movies...my favorites shows...school functions. You get the idea. I am hard pressed to remember a workout that wasn't interrupted by work.

Sometimes it is just a text message here or there - sometimes it is a phone call. Sometimes, I actually need to leave the gym because the fixes aren't going to be quick ones. There is no one else who does exactly what I do - which means I'm "on call" for all but 6 hours a day, 7 days a week.

There are days when I don't know how to maintain a balance between my job, my family and myself. I took this job in November 2013 on a part-time basis. It was a major adjustment for me. I had worked from home for years and it was strange being in an office again. It caused a shift in the delicate balance of our household. Once I started to get the hang of it, my youngest child started school and I was suddenly working full time. I felt pressure. Pressure to be in the office. Pressure to be on call. Pressure to be carpool mom. Pressure everywhere! As the PIC can tell you - this turned me into a raging beast. I was legitimately miserable.

Finally, the PIC sat me down and gave me the hard truth. I wasn't fun to be around anymore. Not for him, not for the kids...I just wasn't pleasant. I had to regroup - for everyone's sake. I had to regroup, refocus and reevaluate where I was headed. It didn't take me long to realize what I had to do - I had to make ME and MY FITNESS a priority. I will rearrange my work schedule to take my children to their doctor appointments, cheer practice, hockey practice, dance class...I'll make sure that they get fed. Why do I not do the same thing for myself?

I had the realization that by letting my health and fitness fall to the wayside, I am setting a craptastic example for my children. Not only am I way more grumpy when I don't have my stress relief - I want them to grow up in a world where fitness is a given...not something they need to "work on," like me.

So - I decided that my last cohesive thought of the day should be about tomorrow's workout. Every night, I need to plan the when and what of my work out for the next day. I make sure that I am planing a 2 hour workout in between conference calls and kids activities and carpool pick ups. If that means that I have to work until midnight to make sure my work gets done...well, I would be working until midnight anyway!

Since decided to make my fitness journey a priority, I find myself much happier. I yell less. I smile more. Shitty days sometimes result in a second workout. (Like tonight). Those second workouts change my mood for the better pretty much every time. Yes - both of today's workouts were interrupted by SEVERAL work related text messages and phone calls. Yes, I had to hop off of the treadmill to take a call from the rep who needed help with a customer. But at the end of the day - I got it all in. I'm a full time Mom, a full time Director of Ops...but I am also a full time Kris...and that has to be a priority before I can be good at anything else.

Juice, Juice, Baby...

Day 2 of Juice cleanse.

I have learned that I can't cleanse two days in a row...at least not while I have walking pneumonia. Today I was weak, stumbling and ended up with a wicked headache. So I am going to eat me some dinner now...but I will be back to juicing tomorrow. In the meanwhile...here are my juice recipes...and my notes and modifications.

Beet & Ginger Juice

2 beets
1 small ginger root
1 apple, cored
1 lemon, peeled
3 carrots
Mix with equal parts water

Review of the recipe: holy shit, the ginger was harsh! I literally couldn't drink it. At all. But I made some minor modifications...and it ended up being my favorite!

My recipe:

4 beets
1 small ginger root
2 apples, cored
1 lemon, peeled
6 carrots
Stevia (to taste)
Mix with equal parts water

I basically just doubled the recipe and it was fantastic. Like - I CRAVE it fantastic.

Minty Pineapple

1/2 pineapple
1 green apple, cored
2 handfuls of mint
Mix with equal parts water

My only modification was to add a little more mint...on my second batch...cause this stuff was pretty awesome without any modifications.

Spicy Lemon

3 lemons, peeled
1/2 teaspoon of Cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon of agave nectar
Equal parts water

I did about 1/4 of a teaspoon of cayenne pepper, doubled the water and added stevia until the lemon didn't overpower me. (It ended up being 3 stevia packets in a 30 ounce cup). I am not a fan of lemon anything - so this was a long shot for me. Once I diluted it and sweetened it up a little, I sucked it down.

Green Goddess

1/2 head of romaine lettuce
2 sticks of celery
1/2 cucumber
1 green apple, cored
2 stalks of kale
handful of parsley
1 lemon, peeled

I won't be making this one again. Need to come up with some modifications to make it worth while

What the JUICE?

The fruits and veggies of my labor...$50 worth of supplies, 12 servings of homemade juice

What is Juice Cleansing?

According to wikipedia:

1. Juice fasting (also known as "juice cleansing") is a controversial fasting method and a detox diet in which a person consumes only fruit and vegetable juices to obtain nutrition while otherwise abstaining from food consumption. Juice fasts may last anywhere from a few days to several weeks.

As we all know, I have fallen off of the scale this year. The best of intentions have fallen prey to illnesses, mild depression and a bad case of the fuck-its. Both of my weekends away in the month of February turned into all-out eat fests...stuffing my face with everything from Fettuccine Alfredo to little poofy cheese balls and topping it off with a bunch of delicious alcoholic beverages. February was a month of gluttony. 

I decided I needed to do some sort of "cleanse" to get myself back on track. I did a cleanse over the summer. For 12 straight days I mixed this nasty orange stuff with a glass of water and then an hour later shit myself silly. But day 7, I was just praying for the end to come. I don't know what was in that "cleanse" that cleared me out - but it certainly wasn't natural. It came in a little white tube. 

I wanted to get back to basics - so I looked into juice and tea. I Googled juice cleanses - and looked up a bunch of different articles. (Read some yourself...this is where I started: http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20679227,00.html) 

I decided a short, 2-3 day juice cleanse was the way to go. I researched a bunch of them - and decided that anything that could be purchased could also be made. The search for recipes began. I came up with four basics that I was going to try. (I'll put the recipes in a separate post). I made the initial batches last week - but yet another round of illnesses kept my plan sidelined. So, today was the official first day of my juice cleanse. 

It was kind of awesome.

Confessions: 

1 - I absolutely stole two bites of my kid's cinnamon roll ("yummy buns") before I drank my breakfast juice this morning. 

2 - I added 2 different types of V8 with my homemade concoctions

3 - I sampled 3 tortellini while I was making my kids dinner

4 - I had 3 more tortellini after I took antibiotics to get the nasty taste out of my mouth

Aside from that - here was my day in review:

(two bites of cinnamon roll), A tall glass of V8 purple juice. One my way to the gym, I had a solid helping of my homemade Beet Ginger juice. I didn't have a lot of time after my workout, so I grabbed a shake before I left the gym. Once I got home from getting kids, I had another serving of V8...this time the green kind. My plan was to have another serving or two of juice...but then I realized that I needed to take my antibiotics with food...so I made myself a salad with some chicken on top.

And you know what? I feel good. Not just because I'm cleansing - but I was in control of today. I woke up, made a decision and stuck to it. Despite this stupid walking pneumonia (what does that even MEAN?!) and feeling like crap - I juiced, I cleansed, I worked out and I feel good.

So, yeah - I spiraled out of control a little for the first two months of 2015. I got off track and let my life drive me. But today? March 2, 2015? Yeah. I owned today. It was mine, baby.

Healthy Competition?

Back in December, a friend and I were out to a decadent lunch when we came up with the idea for a weight loss competition. It seemed like a good idea - $25 buy-in per person...weigh-ins every two weeks...bi-weekly prizes....person with the highest percentage of weight lost at the end took the pot. Seems easy enough, right? I set up this great spreadsheet to help me track progress...send individual text messages to discuss goals. I thought I was prepared and was setting up a successful contest. I should have known better.

My first clue that this wasn't going to work out for my group was during the goal setting texts. Out of the women involved, I had the most amount of weight to lose. I looked at my calendar, counted my weeks and decided that a pound per week was healthy and ideal. No one else had that logic. Suddenly, I felt pressured to have twice the goal I had initially set for myself - I wanted to win, right?

Second clue - shortly after the goals were set, the excuses started. "I am at a disadvantage...I don't have a trainer." "I am at a disadvantage because I can't work out." "I have XYZ physical condition so I believe working out is impossible for me." "I weigh less than everyone else in this group, so I have no chance at winning." Lordy.

I'm not a fan of excuses. Ever. I have a pretty good reason for it - but that is a blog topic for a another post.

Week 1 went great. We were all encouraging each other, texts back and forth. It seemed great! Then the first weigh in happened. We all did pretty good...but smoked by the sleeper of the group. The one who said she wasn't able to work out...she somehow lost 10 pounds. Damn. OK. Paid the "fat tax," (another sign that this was going to be an epic failure...the use of the term "fat tax" for paying into the pot every two weeks...) and kept on trucking.

Week 4. Smoked again. What the heck? How is this possible. The Dark Horse was eating less than 700 calories each day!

For me, that piece of knowledge was the end of the competition. All signs were there from the get-go...but this was the straw. I couldn't put money into a pot that was supporting an eating disorder. I couldn't support destructive and extreme behaviors being employed to win a competition. So...I dropped out. I called an end to it. Everyone else was pretty much OK with it - but I still feel bad that I couldn't help the woman who was starving herself. I saw her just after our most recent weigh in - her eyes sunken into her face...her skin had a pale gray undertone. She didn't look good. And I worry.

So that led me to think - is there such a thing as a "good" weight loss competition? Does the term "competition" automatically imply that someone is going to abuse the system? If the goal is slow, steady and maintainable weight loss, does a competition with money on the line open the door for more drastic measures in an effort to win the prize?

I'm a little disappointed that this didn't work out for us. I had this vision in my head of a community. A forum.   A group of people who would band together and not focus on the end prize but instead encourage each other to lose a little more each week until we all reached our goal.

We are back to being on our own. I'm ok with that - actually - since my greatest competition is the sense of doubt that lives within.

Derailed...Again...

I am currently sitting in front of my fireplace, under a blanket in my chair, feeling hopeless and helpless.

A few days ago, my PIC suggested that I blog some of my frustrations. He said that it was important to share the negatives as much as it was the positives. It was important to share the downs as much of the ups. At the time, I didn't want to. I was more in the mood to wallow and feel sorry for myself. There is a time and a place for a pity party, and I was hosting one right here. Rather than let me be, he persisted. He told me that I wasn't alone - but gosh, it certainly feels that way.

For most of my life, I struggled with that number on the scale. I remembered the panic I the first time I crept above 200. The joy at being back in "1-derland." (That beautiful place when the first number of your three digit weight is a "1.") There were times when I literally would do anything to be thin. Eat cabbage for a week? Sure! Two meals a day? I got that? Long-term fasting? Easy-peasy. A pill that kills my appetite? I will take it after breakfast!

I wanted to be skinny. SKINNY. 5'10", 130lbs, size 6, "have you met my ribs" skinny. I joined groups, weight loss centers, read books...both nothing worked? Do you know why? Because SKINNY doesn't work.

There wasn't a single person - not at a WW meeting, not in my dance classes, not at skating or at cheer - not a single person who took the time to explain to me that being skinny wasn't sustainable. No one explained the concept of strength and how important it was to have muscle mass. It took me until my late 20's to learn about it and my mid-30's to really understand it.

Now I have a whole new problem.

When the PIC walked into my life over three years ago, he taught me to not be afraid of the unknown. He pushed me to try everything that I said I couldn't do. It went something like this:

Me: I can't walk on a treadmill.
PIC: Let's warmup on the treadmill today...2.5 miles for 5 minutes

Me: I can't do squats
PIC: Let's start with some TRX squats

Me: I can't lift
PIC: Meet my friend, the flat bench

Somewhere along the line, something clicked. The pieces came together...the fat started to melt away and my body felt and looked stronger. Something else happened though - I became an addict.

I am completely addicted to the way weight lifting makes me feel. I like the rush. Feeling "swole." I like the accomplishment. So what is my problem? I now feel guilty when I don't or can't lift. I feel worse about myself when I am not in the gym...and I beat myself up more now than I ever have before.

This winter has been a tough one. Between myself and the kiddos, we have battled the flu, stomach flu, colds, more stomach bugs...you name it. I'm not complaining. There are far worse things that could happen than a handful of short-term illness - I know that. I am, however, at a loss as to how to overcome the feelings I have now after being sick with something-or-other for the past three months.

I am tired. I feel defeated. I am completely overcome with guilt over not being in the gym. I am feel out of control over my health, my wellness and my weight loss journey. I am not feeling very strong...emotionally, mentally or physically.

When I first started this blog, it was a way of keeping me excited about my workouts and process. (And yes, I know that this is a process.) I had promised myself that this would be a place to be positive and uplifting...that if someone else saw my posts that maybe it would encourage them along their way too. How do I encourage myself?

What if Tomorrow Never Comes?

I'm waxing sentimental this evening. Earlier today I learned that of my other cheer moms has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is young. Very young - significantly younger than me...and I'm not that old! She has three young children...her oldest cheers with my oldest. Her youngest is just a month old.

The Amazing and Beautiful Evelyn C. Knapp

This is not the first woman in my life to face this battle. I think all of us know too many people who have received this diagnosis. The most poignant of all of these warriors was Evelyn Knapp.

Evelyn was the adopted daughter of Bill & Athena Stavrakos, my great-aunt and -uncle. A teenager when I was born, I idolized Evelyn from the time that I was very young. She was kind of amazing. Beautiful and charming - with a perfect nose and an infectious smile. In contrast to my not-so-physically-fit family, Evelyn was a picture of physical fitness and health. By the time I was in high school, she founded and co-owned the Personal Training Institute, which had multiple locations on Long Island.

Evelyn rejected sugar...her lips had never tasted a soda. My mother once joked that she would order "Broccoli and Broccoli" from a Chinese restaurant. She taught classes, was a personal trainer and was built like a goddess. She was featured in a magazine while pregnant and then gave birth at home using her husband as her birthing chair. I was then, and still am now, completely in awe of Evelyn.

Evelyn lost her battle with breast cancer on June 1, 2005. She was only 40 years old. She left behind a husband...three daughters...her father...and countless people who loved her. She also left behind her legacy of PTI and the many people she helped reach fitness goals.

After her funeral, I found myself on the train back to Baltimore. I was heartbroken and alone. Through my sadness, I felt the need to DO something. Anything. The world was robbed of an amazing woman - and her legacy should continue. I spent that train ride re-evaluating my life. I was less than two weeks from my 26th birthday. I smoked too much...drank too much...ate too much and worked hours that enabled my bad habits. I was 60 pounds over weight and believed fitness meant skinny.

Shortly after her passing, I decided that I would work to recommit my life and work to be healthier. I had this crazy idea that I would get myself in shape, push myself forward and then use my lessons to help others. I could open up my own gym and help people - just like Evelyn. She inspired so many people in her life before it was cut short. I would be irresponsible to not be inspired to change my life for the better in her memory.

She will be gone 10 years this June. 10 years. I quit smoking the summer that we lost Evelyn...and started working out. My workout plans were cut short by a broken ankle and then three babies in four years. Every time I have slipped in my fitness goals, I have felt a little bit of guilt. Like I was disappointing Evelyn's memory.

Evelyn touched a lot of people. Her company still thrives in NY. There is a 5K run in her favorite park every fall. There is an entire organization dedicated to continue her life's work and dreams. (Strength for Life NY).

And now - as I approach the 10 anniversary of our family's loss - I'm going to allow her to touch my life as well. Life is too short to sit back and wait even one more day. Life is too short to allow physical limitations to hold you back. Life is too short to not celebrate all that you do have and all of the things that your body can do.

If you have a minute - check out Strength for Life NY...maybe Evelyn can be a source of inspiration for you too..

http://www.strengthforlifeny.org/AboutUs/OurInspiration.aspx

And it was a GOOD Day

Finally! I pulled myself together and had a really, really GOOD day - both in and out of the gym! I started my day with the earlier mentioned protein shake. Lunch was a grilled chicken salad with my new favorite dressing. (It is some sort of light Asian-themed, peanutty dressing from Kobe). Dinner was a pre-made (not ideal to be pre-made) stuffed chicken breast and another salad.

AND I MADE IT TO THE GYM!!

The Partner In Crime & I made it a chest day and we kinda killed it. We started out with incline bench press. I am typically not a fan of these, because I feel weak when I do them. I'm much stronger on the flat bench, with PIC tells me is totally normal. However, it sometimes just feels like a reminder of how far I allowed myself to slide. Today, I was feeling a little ballsy - so I put 25s on the bar and decided to give it a go.

95 pounds. I only got two reps in before I had to rerack the bar and drop it down to 75. But then I finished it out with the 75! The rest of the workout is as follows:

Incline bench press
4 sets - (95/75, 75, 75, 65)

Incline dumbbell press
4 sets - I started out at 30 and had an almost epic failure after my first two reps. So I dropped it down and finished it out. (25, 27.5, 27.5, 25)

Seated Fly
4 sets (70, 70, 70, 60)

Incline bench...with a twist
4 sets - the twist: we let the bar come to a complete rest, without supporting any of the weight with our hands, and then pushed it up from the complete rest position. (bar, 55, 55, 55)

Finished it off with two triceps exercises

Double rope extensions (20, 17.5, 17.5)
Single arm extensions (5, 5) UNTIL FAILURE

Side note: Here is PIC on the flys...look at the shoulders on that beast! It is hard to see it...but he is killing it at 180lbs for this exercise! Good grief!

One Foot in Front of the Other

I had a realization after starting this blog on Tuesday - I have completely fallen off of the fitness wagon. It has now been over a week since I set foot in the gym and I am more likely to grab cake for a meal instead of take the time to make myself something. No bueno.

So I spent a good chunk of my day yesterday trying to figure out how to get myself back on track. While I was lost in thought, I came to another realization: trying to change everything about your lifestyle in one day is daunting, seemingly impossible and not a good way to start said change.

I'm a planner...and I felt the urge to come up with a plan.

Step A: Breakfast.

I am not good at breakfast. Never have been. Breakfast, to me, is bacon and eggs, pancakes waffles. A big ordeal. I don't have a whole lot of time in the morning, so a big ordeal is out of the question. Most mornings, I forget to actually feed myself. I make sure that all three kids have breakfast and lunch. Depending on the day - that could mean that I am making six different meals before 8 am. (If I am lucky - one of those meals is cereal...) I find myself at work, unfed, and starving by noon. I either help myself to one of the less-than-healthy options that are walking distance from my office or I just drink more water until it is time to leave and then I stop at an unhealthy option on my way to the highway. Frankly, both options suck.

When I am racing out the door at 7:55, the last thing I think about is myself. So I felt that breakfast would be an excellent place to start.

Protein shakes. Quick. Easy. Requires 5 minutes of my time from set-up through clean-up. I am going to start with protein shakes.

I have everything I need for daily protein shakes already in the house. I have a variety of protein powders, (2 chocolates, 2 vanillas, a cookies & cream) and even if I am out of milk, there is always water. I have a stash of PB2 from when I was still on the wagon. (I prefer real peanut butter...but peanut butter doesn't work well with "in a rush.")

I'm on day 2 of my morning protein shakes and I am happy to report that it is going well. It seems to be a good start to my day and an easy way to get something nutritious in my body. Both of my shakes have been chocolate-peanut-butter-banana with an unsweetened vanilla almond milk base. This morning, I also made Oldest Child a shake. She had an palate expander put in yesterday, so her little mouth is a touch tender. Her shake had a skim milk base with vanilla, strawberries and a banana. After I finish this post, I am going to start researching dried kale...why not add a super food to the breakfast smoothie?

Today I will also take Step B: Lunch.

Wish me luck!

Fail to Plan: Plan to Fail

Ugh.

Do you know what this is?

That, my friends, is what I decided to make myself for dinner. 

I had ground beef in the fridge that needed to be made. Now - I am not a fan of ground beef...but the menfolk in the house certainly are, so I grabbed a skillet, coated it in some coconut oil spray and tossed that meat in there and began to season it. The not-well-thought-out plan was to just make the meat to avoid it going bad...but I had no desire to eat it. Enter the Oldest Child.

Oldest Child announces that she would really like to have macaroni for dinner...so I put a pot of water up to boil. I was still thinking I would eat something somewhat healthy...but if I was already making macaroni for the kids, I could make some for the Hubs as well. (He is typically not picky...nor is he body conscious or particularly interested in my fitness goals.) As I'm stirring pasta and searing beef, I am reminded of the handful of times I experimented with Hamburger Helper. (Blarf) (Disclaimer: I have only made Hamburger Helper at the request of the Hubs...I think it is pretty gross...)

And then I start experimenting...

I seasoned the meat...busted out the Velveeta cheese...started mixing a cheesy, meaty concoction that the Hubs was going to flip over. As I am making Dinner #1 for the Hubs, Dinner #2 for Oldest Child, Dinner #3 for Middle Child (who just wanted cold chicken with ketchup) and cutting up strawberries for Youngest Child, I realize that I am cooking/prepping food for four other people and have still given no thought to myself. 

I failed to plan. 

After all was said and done, two of the 3 children at least sampled my homemade version of Hamburger Helper. The Partner in Crime came home unexpectedly...(He is my Partner in all things weight-loss, fit living...and general tomfoolery...) Surprisingly, he wanted some too. (Pasta usually isn't his thing...) So...guess what I ate?!

Yup. Just hours after my initial posting to this blog about how 2015 is all about the newer, stronger me...I made myself and my entire household a hamburger helper-esque, calorie and carb loaded meal.

Gross.

The struggle is real, people. 

New Year, New Me?

This is my least favorite time of the year.

This week follows my busiest and
most joyful time of year - a time that is filled with holidays, birthday celebrations, more holidays and lots of events and parties with a common theme: food. Delicious, homemade, decadent food that is guaranteed to add inches to my waistline and pounds to the scale.  It is a time filled with friends, family and laughter - my loved ones gather around the table, enjoying meals together.

This January seems more depressing to me than usual. Just 15 months ago, I hit the 50 pound mark in my weigh loss journey. Three days later, I had a third surgery on Frankenankle, the ankle I broke in three places back in 2005. A month after my surgery, I came down with pneumonia. By the end of 2013, I had lost my personal trainer, my steady work-out buddy, my desire to workout and I found myself constantly winded, feeling out-of-shape and tired. I was tired pretty much all in time. In retrospect (hindsight being 20/20 and all...), I can tell you that my exhaustion was from the pneumonia and my recovery was pretty much normal. At the time, I just felt defeated.

I'm kind of a gym rat. I love being in the gym. I love lifting. When I had my ankle surgery, I only took one day off from lifting. I was right back in there, working my shoulders, by Friday. And I was proud of myself. Throughout my entire non-weight-bearing recovery, I didn't gain a pound. I maintained that 50-pound weight loss. So when I suddenly found myself too tired to make it in every morning, the wheels started to come off. By spring, I was ready to chuck it all.

The past six months have been a non-stop roller coaster of activities, work and kids...all of which require a certain amount of balance. I'll admit: I am completely guilty of using my life as an excuse. I can't get to the gym because I was up all night with the kids. Oh -I am the cheerleader shuttle today, I can't make it to the gym. I have let my bullshit excuses take over...and that brings me to today.

It is the first snow day of 2015...just 6 days into the new year, and I already haven't been to the gym since LAST YEAR! WTF, Kris? I stepped on the scale on January 1st and learned that I have officially gained back 33 of the 50 pounds I once lost.

So - here is what it all boils down to: I can continue to lament my lack of progress...or I can break out of my slump and get back into doing what I love. Lifting myself into a better version of me. (Puns intended...) My new year starts today - (I run on Greek time anyway...I'm always fashionably late).

I started this blog as a way to encourage myself and chronicle my journey...because that is what this is. I don't want to lose weight. I want to be fit. Not a new me - but a better, stronger, fitter me that isn't hesitant to do a push up or a plank. A me that is confident in what my body can accomplish.